Today I heard this parody of Green Day's song, "American Idiot" by Weird Al Yankovic:

Canadian Idiot

Don't want to be a Canadian idiot!
Don't want to be some beer swillin' hockey nut!
And do I look like some frost-bitten hose-head?
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed!

They all live on doughnuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin' heat!
Never even bring their guns to the mall!
And you know what else is too funny?
Their stupid Monopoly money!
Can't take 'em seriously at all!

Well, maple syrup and snow's what they export!
They treat curling just like it's a real sport!
They think their silly accent is so cute!
Can't understand a thing they're talking aboot!

Sure they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again, well, they got Celine Dion!
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
and dream of driving a zamboni
all over Saskatchewan!

Don't want to be a Canadian idiot!
Won't figure out the temperature in Celcius!
See the map; they're hovering right over us!
Tell you the truth it makes me kinda nervous!

Always hear the same kind of story!
Break their nose and they'll just say sorry!
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?
It's gotta mean they're all up to something!
So, quick, before they see it coming
Time for a pre-emptive strike!

I am officially old.
The other day, I took a few of the residents from my job to Ash Wednesday supper, activity and service at my church. Over the course of the evening, there was a boy who seemed interested in one of the girls, and the feeling was mutual. In the car on the way home, the girl was talking about wanting to continue to attend services throughout Lent, but added that this was not just because of the cute boy she met at church.

I commented, "We don't go to church just to wheel".

wheel [hweel, weel] noun
1. to search for a mate.

This girl was totally clueless as to what I was talking about. Then I made it worse by saying, "Do kids not say 'wheel' anymore?".

The next day, I asked her if the ringtone on her cell phone was the sound of a dinosaur. As she and two total strangers behind me all laughed at me, she explained that it was a song, and said, "Oh, Karen ... you and your oldness!". She also informed me Friday that her mom and I have the same pants.

*sigh*

Jerilyn told me last night that she has not heard anyone talk about "wheeling" since 1998, but also consoled me that, "30 is the new 20".

Or so say all the people who are currently pushing 30 ...

In honor of the Lenten season, I have posted the ENTIRE (thank you, copyright enfringement!) 24 minute "Father Ted" episode entitled, "Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollarblading". This is one of my favorites, with great quotations you can casually work into conversation at Ash Wednesday service such as:

"What are you giving up? Being the biggest idiot in the priesthood?!?"

"You're looking well, Father. Is that a new outfit?"

"I want a good miserable time - keep me on the straight and narrow."

Ash Wednesday is February 21st.

My church's Lenten theme for 2007 is:

"WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?"
Leading up to Easter, Redeemer Lutheran Church will be having intergenerational activities which will focus on our role in protecting, caring for and making wise use of God's creation. These will take place on Sunday mornings at 10 AM, between the 9 AM and 11 AM worship times, but also on "Wonderful Wednesdays", when there will be:

6 PM: Community Supper
6:30 PM: Fun and Learning for All Ages!
7:30 PM: Worship With Holy Communion

Because of work, I am unsure if I will be able to participate in the evening activities, but I do plan on attending the morning Lenten services that my church is participating in as a part of the Nutana Park Ecumenical group. They will be held at Calvin-Goforth Presbyterian Church, at the corner of Sommerfield and 3rd Street, at 7:30 AM on Wednesdays. There is breakfast to follow, if anyone would like to join me!

Last year, I heard about a Lenten series created by the Church of England that is called, "Live Life, Love Lent". Instead of advocating abstinance from things you enjoy, they suggested 50 activities that encourage generousity, such as:

• Make someone laugh.


• Plant some seeds where the flowers will be seen.


• Buy a low energy lightbulb.


• Bake something and share it.


• Use a "buy one get one free" and give the free one away.

This year, they have launced "Live Life Love Lent 2", which focuses on being a good neighbour and breaking down community barriers. They also have the option this year to receive e-mails or text messages of each day's activity.

Last Sunday, I watched the 2007 Grammy Awards with Mark and Kristy at Mark's parents' house. I love music, and the thing I like the most about the Grammy's is when new artists colaborate with or pay tribute to classic artists or songs. My favorite performance was when Carrie Underwood sang "Desperado" by the Eagles. I did not think she was going to do it justice, but really did a good job.



Two of the big winners of the night were Mary J. Blige and the Dixie Chicks. I was so happy for them both, because I enjoy their music and the albums they were nominated for were reflections on their own personal experience. I found it personally significant for me as well when the Dixie Chicks won for "Not Ready to Make Nice". That song makes me think about the events of 2006 in my own life.

This past New Year's Eve, I took a drive along Spadina Crescent before heading home.

I had just bought the new Sarah McLachlan album Wintersong, where she did a remake of "River" by Joni Mitchell. I have always loved this song and wondered if Joni got her inspiration for it from growing up in Saskatchewan.

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh, I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly

Sometimes a girl just likes to drive down by the river at 2 AM, listen to sad music and re-evaluate her life. Is that so wrong? In the immortal words of Lesley Gore, "You'd cry too if it happened to you".

The next thing I knew, there were red and blue lights in my rear view mirror. I figured I must have been speeding, although 5 to 10 kilometres at the most. The officer asked if I had been drinking, but I thought nothing of it. It was New Year's Eve, so I figured they probably ask everyone that question. I wasn't worried because I hadn't had any drinks that night anyway.

Not so. The officer stared at me really hard for a few seconds, then said, "I noticed you weaving a bit back there".

I was a bit embarassed to be stopped anyway, because I had been crying ... much less stopped because I had been crying hard enough to appear drunk.

I said, "I was just thinking ... about the year that's gone by ...*sigh* ... and the year coming up".

The officer replied, "It just started. How bad could it be?".

I said, "Well, it's only two hours in, and I got stopped by you. You tell me how bad it's going to be".

No ticket resulted.

Every year, the Star Phoenix gives people the opportunity to publish "Love Lines" messages to their sweetheart on Valentine's Day. There were no messages for me again this year, but there was one that I particularly liked:

To Marsha:
Roses are red, Violets are purple
You're as sweet, As maple surple
Love John

Eat your hearts out - Michelle, Jackie,
Adrienne, Dorothy, June, Shantal,
Cindy Molly, Diane, Roxanna, Karen,
Debbie, Heather, Bev, Eileen, Vivian,
Marie, Vicky, Joann, Leanne, and Rita


For anyone who didn't have a good Valentine's Day this year, Jim Carrey was on The Tonight Show last night to promote his new movie The Number 23.

02 + 14 + 07 = 23

I read an article in the Star Phoenix today that said:

"Catholic Church Urges Singles To Pray To Saint For Soulmate"
The church, concerned by a 30% drop in Catholic weddings in England and Wales in the past decade, is offering people the chance to seek divine intervention by praying to Saint Raphael, the patron saint of happy meetings. They encourage singles to pray to St. Raphael for nine successive days beginning on Valentine's Day.

As my Catholic co-worker, Jerilyn, said when I pointed this article out to her, "Saint Raphael ... it even sounds romantic ...".

Unlike me, Jerilyn has a prayer of getting a Valentine from her fiance Andrew ... without having to pray for it!!!

Hi, I'm Karen, and I'm not an alcoholic.

Do you ever notice that you can't say, "I'm not an alcoholic" without sounding like you are an alcoholic? The more vehemently and repeatedly you deny it, the worse it sounds!

The other day, I took an alcoholism screening quiz.
I'm not an alcoholic ... no matter what that quiz says!

I commented to one of my coworkers that most people who have ever gone to college or a good Ukrainian wedding would probably fail this test.

Holly forwarded these Heineken commericals to me.







Who knew???

The University of Saskatchewan Campus Sustainability Network, the Environmental Studies Students' Association, and Footprint Design is presenting a free showing of:

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH

Tuesday, February 6th at 4:30 PM
Neatby-Timlin Theatre (Arts 241)

For every person who signs up for Peak of the Market's recipe e-mails during the month of February, the company will donate 50 pounds of Manitoba-grown vegetables to the Winnipeg Harvest Food Bank.


Winnipeg Harvest distributes food to more than 325 food banks and soup kitchens across Manitoba, sharing food with nearly 40,000 people every month.

I signed up for this in order for the charity to benefit, but I am finding that the recipes, which all contain vegetables, are really good!

Jerilyn sent me the link to a website where you can Rate Your Doctor, and read the ratings given by others. I was surprised to find that many local physicians are listed on this site, including my doctor, Johann Kriegler from the Mediclinic located at 101 - 3301 8th Street East in Saskatoon.

I was not surprised to see that Dr. Kriegler was rated highly. I personally agree that he is excellent. Then only negatives were regarding a long wait time. I agree with this, but think it has more to do with his popularity and an overall busy clinic.

Some of the comments about Dr. Kriegler:

He is the best doctor around. Smart, kind, thorough and follows up. He just can't be beat.

Very efficient, effective, and professional physician. A real credit to his profession!

He listens. He is kind. He never brushes my concerns off. He is proactive and gets to the bottom of the issues very quickly. He also is very good with my two young kids.

I have been seeing Dr Kriegler for years. He always remembers me and my family (many of whom go to see him as well). I highly recommend him!

There is also a listing for another doctor at the same clinic, Dr. Eustace, who my former co-worker and I have nicknamed, "Dr. Useless". Take a guess how he rated ...

One Laptop Per Child, a nonprofit group started at MIT, is developing a low-cost wireless laptop. The XO laptop will have a 500 MHz, 128 MB of DRAM and 500 MB of Flash memory for long-term storage. XOs are small, colourful, and very durable, with a flat LCD screen. They are powered using a built-in wind-up generator, for use in areas without electricity. The XO supports mesh wireless networking, and uses open source software. The group is currently researching ways to connect them to the world wide web. The cost of each will be approximately $100.

Where can you get one? Sorry. These laptops are currently only available for free to school children in impoverished countries. 1.2 million children in Libya received the first shipment this past October, and there are plans to launch them in Argentina, Brazil, Nigeria, Rwanda and Uruguay.

As cool as this idea is ... I can't help but wonder if there are more pressing needs than laptop computers in these nations. I can just imagine these kids IMing each other in class:

RU hungry? Me 2 :(

Not to mention how much hand cranking it will take to charge the batteries of a computer. A hand crank radio needs to be wound for 90 seconds to play for 15 minutes. In ten years, there will be World Vision ads talking about the crippling effect of carpal tunnel syndrome on the Third World:

"For just pennies a day, you can buy an immobilizing wrist brace for little Emmanuel, and get him the physiotherapy he so desperately needs ..."