Hi, I'm Karen, and I'm not an alcoholic.

Do you ever notice that you can't say, "I'm not an alcoholic" without sounding like you are an alcoholic? The more vehemently and repeatedly you deny it, the worse it sounds!

The other day, I took an alcoholism screening quiz.
I'm not an alcoholic ... no matter what that quiz says!

I commented to one of my coworkers that most people who have ever gone to college or a good Ukrainian wedding would probably fail this test.