I work at a group home for at risk teenage girls between the ages of 13 and 18. These girls deal with a variety of issues, including suicidal thoughts and "cutting".

Last week, we received free tickets from Shakespeare on the Saskatchewan to a youth matinee of Julius Caesar. Being a huge Shakespeare fan myself, I was quite excited. When the girls asked me what the play was about, I told them it was a historical play about the plot to murder Julius Caesar.

When they stared at me blankly, I told them, "There's a lot of stabbing".

Then they were quite excited, too.

We went to see the play today, and the girls loved it - despite some confusion about the dialogue. I'd neglected to think of the fact that none of them had ever studied Shakepeare in school. Luckily, stabbing is the universal language.

I was enjoying the play myself, until Act I, scene iii, when Cassius aimed his dagger towards his own chest and said:

I know where I will wear this dagger then;
Cassius from bondage will deliver Cassius.

My eyes grew wide, as I thought, "Oh, crap ... I just remembered how this play ends ...".

However, I was in for a surprise in Act II, scene i when Portia limped over to her husband Brutus, pulled her skirt aside and confessed:

Tell me your counsels; I will not disclose 'em.
I have made strong proof of my constancy,
Giving myself a voluntary wound
Here, in my thigh. Can I bear that with patience,
And not my husband's secrets?

OH ... CRAP!

The curtain closes, following the suicides of:

• Cassius, who convinces Pindarus to stab him
• Titinius, who stabs himself because Cassius is dead
• Brutus, who runs on his sword and dies


and lest we forget ...

• Portia, who "swallowed fire" in Act IV, scene iii. (The most popular explanation of this is that she swallowed hot coals. Brutus and Cassius only talked about this, and we didn't get to see it.)
  

The residents loved it, but it couldn't have been any less appropriate if Mark Antony had started smoking a big joint!

Et tu, Shakespeare?